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He was endowed with a stupidity which by the least little stretch would go around the globe four times and tie.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Four
Times
Endowed
Around
Globe
Littles
Globes
Little
Stretch
Would
Ties
Stupidity
Least
More quotes by Mark Twain
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities Truth isn't.
Mark Twain
Between us, we cover all knowledge he knows all that can be known and I know the rest.
Mark Twain
Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
Mark Twain
America cannot have an empire abroad and a Republic at home.
Mark Twain
Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.
Mark Twain
I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that, my art is not above the ordinary.
Mark Twain
Seasickness: at first you are so sick you are afraid you will die, and then you are so sick you are afraid you won't die.
Mark Twain
The miracle or the power that elevates the few is to be found in their industry, application and perseverance under the promptings of a brave, determined spirit.
Mark Twain
What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it. . . . The work that is really a man's own work is play and not work at all. . . . When we talk about the great workers of the world we really mean the great players of the world.
Mark Twain
Sometimes you gwyne to git hurt, en sometimes you gwyne to git sick but every time you's gwyne to git well agin.
Mark Twain
The kingly office is entitled to no respect. It was originally procured by the highwayman's methods. It remains a perpetuated crime, can never be anything but the symbol of a crime. It is no more entitled to respect than is the flag of a pirate.
Mark Twain
His head was an hour-glass it could stow an idea, but it had to do it a grain at a time, not the whole idea at once.
Mark Twain
All say, ‘how hard it is that we have to die’ -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of those who have had to live.
Mark Twain
I was standing in our dining-room thinking of nothing in particular, when a cablegram was put into my hand. It said, 'Susy was peacefully released today.' It is one of the mysteries of our nature that a man, all unprepared, can receive a thunder-stroke like that and live.
Mark Twain
....try the mustard, - a man can't know what turnips are in perfection without mustard.
Mark Twain
For England must not fall: it would mean an inundation of Russian & German political degradations which would envelop the globe & steep it in a sort of Middle-Age night & slaverly which would last till Christ comes again - which I hope he will not do he made trouble enough before.
Mark Twain
It makes one hope and believe that a day will come when, in the eye of the law, literary property will be as sacred as whiskey, or any other of the necessaries of life. It grieves me to think how far more profound and reverent a respect the law would have for literature if a body could only get drunk on it.
Mark Twain
The trouble with most of us is that we know too much that ain't so.
Mark Twain
There are too many stars in some places and not enough in others.
Mark Twain
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again and that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
Mark Twain
