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He was endowed with a stupidity which by the least little stretch would go around the globe four times and tie.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Times
Endowed
Around
Globe
Littles
Globes
Little
Stretch
Would
Ties
Stupidity
Least
Four
More quotes by Mark Twain
Intellectual ''work'' is misnamed it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.
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I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two million dollars.
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I felt it was my duty to praise all of God's works with fervent enthusiasm. At the same time I killed flies in my house in a spirit of hatred, exasperation and contempt. My praise to God for all his works was dishonest, the act of killing the fly was honest.
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Temperate temperance is best intemperate temperance injures the cause of temperance.
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A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial.
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It is not worth while to try to keep history from repeating itself, for man's character will always make the preventing of the repetitions impossible.
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...heaven for climate, and hell for society.
Mark Twain
You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances. It is the tourist's custom.
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I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie I can, but I won't.
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Education is what remains when what is learned has been taken away.
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Whenever the human race assembles to a number exceeding four, it cannot stand free speech.
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Never waste a lie you never know when you may need it.
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I can understand German as well as the maniac that invented it, but I talk it best through an interpreter.
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All the territorial possessions of all the political establishments in the earth--including America, of course-- consist of pilferings from other people's wash. No tribe, howsoever insignificant, and no nation, howsoever mighty occupies a foot of land that was not stolen.
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One must keep one's character. Earn a character first if you can, and if you can't, then assume one.
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Good exercise for the heart: reach out and help your neighbor
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From his cradle to his grave a man never does a single thing which has any FIRST AND FOREMOST object but one -- to secure peace of mind, spiritual comfort, for HIMSELF.
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Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.
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A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words in a book or newspaper the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.
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The fact is, the king was a good deal more than a king, he was a man and when a man is a man, you can't knock it out of him.
Mark Twain
