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If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be — a Christian.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Thing
Would
Atheistic
Atheism
Christianity
Religious
Religion
Christian
Christ

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I have too much respect for the truth to drag it out on every trifling occasion.
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My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
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Give a man a reputation as an early riser and he can sleep 'til noon.
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The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
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The lightning there is peculiar it is so convincing, that when it strikes a thing it doesn't leave enough of that thing behind for you to tell whether-Well, you'd think it was something valuable, and a Congressman had been there.
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Ignorance is not not knowin' - Ignorance is knowin' what ain't so.
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There are laws to protect the freedom of the press's speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press
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Often a quite assified remark becomes sanctified by use and petrified by custom it is then a permanency, its term of activity a geologic period.
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Loyalty is a word which has worked vast harm for it has been made to trick men into being loyal to a thousand iniquities, whereas the true loyalty should have been to themselves - in which case there would have ensured a rebellion, and the throwing off of that deceptive yoke.
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It is my custom to keep on talking until I get the audience cowed.
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It is better to give than receive- especially advice.
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If you've got a nice fresh corpse, fetch him out!
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The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
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We can secure other people's approval, if we do right and try hard but our own is worth a hundred of it, and no way has been found out of securing that.
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I am not given to exaggeration, and when I say a thing I mean it.
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A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificant by and by.
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Man is a marvelous curiosity...he thinks he is the Creator's pet...he even believes the Creator loves him has passion for him sits up nights to admire him yes and watch over him and keep him out of trouble. He prays to him and thinks he listens. Isn't it a quaint idea.
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Do one thing every day you don't want to do.
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the more I know about people, the better I like my dogs.
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Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
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