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God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
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Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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War
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Americans
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More quotes by Mark Twain
It's lovely to live on a raft. We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made or only just happened.
Mark Twain
Adam did not want the apple for the apple's sake he wanted it because it was forbidden.
Mark Twain
Homely truth is unpalatable.
Mark Twain
I ordinarily smoke fifteen cigars during my five hours' labours, and if my interest reaches the enthusiastic point, I smoke more. I smoke with all my might, and allow no intervals.
Mark Twain
If you're looking for friends when you need them...it's too late.
Mark Twain
Is a person's public and private opinion the same? It is thought there have been instances.
Mark Twain
Among other common lies, we have the silent lie - the deception which one conveys by simply keeping still and concealing the truth. Many obstinate truth-mongers indulge in this dissipation, imagining that if they speak no lie, they lie not at all.
Mark Twain
A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was gitting knowledge that was always going to be useful to him, and warn't ever going to grow dim or doubtful.
Mark Twain
No one is willing to acknowledge a fault in himself when a more agreeable motive can be found for the estrangement of his acquaintances.
Mark Twain
Every civilization carries the seeds of its own destruction, and the same cycle shows in them all. The Republic is born, flourishes, decays into plutocracy, and is captured by the shoemaker whom the mercenaries and millionaires make into a king. The people invent their oppressors, and the oppressors serve the function for which they are invented.
Mark Twain
Love is an irreresisistible desire to be irresistibily desired.
Mark Twain
Man proposes, but God blocks the game.
Mark Twain
Teaching is like trying to hold 35 corks underwater at once.
Mark Twain
A better idea than my own is to listen.
Mark Twain
To believe yourself brave is to be brave it is the one only essential thing.
Mark Twain
Give a man a reputation as an early riser and he can sleep 'til noon.
Mark Twain
I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than any in the world.
Mark Twain
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
Mark Twain
A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial.
Mark Twain
Apparently one of the most uncertain things in the world is the funeral of a religion.
Mark Twain
