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God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
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Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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War
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More quotes by Mark Twain
Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.
Mark Twain
His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere.
Mark Twain
You may call a jay a bird. Well, so he is, in a measure--because he's got feathers on him, and don't belong to no church, perhapsbut otherwise he is just as much a human as you be. And I'll tell you for why. A jay's gifts and instincts, and feelings, and interests, cover the whole ground. A jay hasn't got any more principle than a Congressman.
Mark Twain
There is nothing in the world like persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus.
Mark Twain
I was born modest not all over, but in spots.
Mark Twain
We need not worry so much about what man descends from it's what he descends to that shames the human race.
Mark Twain
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
Mark Twain
Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
Mark Twain
Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.
Mark Twain
God could create the world in six days because he didn't have to make it compatible with the previous version. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company
Mark Twain
I am content to be a bric-a-bracker and a Ceramiker.
Mark Twain
A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
Mark Twain
Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
Mark Twain
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.
Mark Twain
No God and no religion can survive ridicule. No political church, no nobility, no royalty or other fraud, can face ridicule in a fair field, and live.
Mark Twain
None of us can be as great as God, but any of us can be as good.
Mark Twain
Man seems to be a rickety poor sort of thing, any way you take him a kind of British Museum of infirmities and inferiorities. He is always undergoing repairs. A machine that was as unreliable as he is would have no market.
Mark Twain
Never miss an opportunity to shut up.
Mark Twain
The Koran does not permit Mohammedans to drink. Their natural instincts do not permit them to be moral. They say the Sultan has eight hundred wives. This almost amounts to bigamy.
Mark Twain
Progressive improvement beats delayed perfection.
Mark Twain
