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God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
America
Americans
Humorists
Would
Creating
Geography
Life
Learning
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Education
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Entrepreneur
Learn
Humorous
War
God
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Created
More quotes by Mark Twain
Optimist: Person who travels on nothing from nowhere to happiness.
Mark Twain
Life should begin with age and its privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and its capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages.
Mark Twain
To get the full value of joy You must have someone to divide it with. After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.
Mark Twain
I should be sorry to think it was the publishers themselves they got up this entire little flutter to enable them to unload a book that was taking too much room in their cellars, but you can never tell what a publisher will do. I have been one myself.
Mark Twain
Surely the test of a novel's characters is that you feel a strong interest in them and their affairs the good to be successful, the bad to suffer failure. Well, in John Ward, you feel no divided interest, no discriminating interest you want them all to land in hell together, and right away.
Mark Twain
The only very marked difference between the average civilized man and the average savage is that the one is gilded and the other is painted.
Mark Twain
Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
A friend is someone who stays in when the rest of the world has gone out.
Mark Twain
Don't wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
Mark Twain
It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help.
Mark Twain
Let us guess that whenever we read a sentence & like it, we unconsciously store it away in our model-chamber & it goes, with the myriad of its fellows, to the building, brick by brick, of the eventual edifice which we call our style.
Mark Twain
Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead. Death, the refuge, the solace, the best and kindliest and most prized friend and benefactor of the erring, the forsaken, the old and weary and broken of heart.
Mark Twain
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
Mark Twain
How stunning are the changes which age makes in a man while he sleeps!
Mark Twain
Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard luck while he was alive. I wish they were used more.
Mark Twain
When one's character begins to fall under suspicion and disfavor, how swift, then, is the work of disintegration and destruction.
Mark Twain
There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
Mark Twain
If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy - if you are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places.
Mark Twain
Once you've put one of his [Henry James] books down, you simply can't pick it up again.
Mark Twain
If one is honest there is no need to remember.
Mark Twain
