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We despise all reverences and all objects of reverence which are outside the pale of our list of sacred things. And yet, with strange inconsistency, we are shocked when other people despise and defile the things which are holy to us.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Strange
Despise
Religion
Reverence
Things
List
People
Lists
Sacred
Defile
Outside
Inconsistency
Objects
Shocked
Holy
Pale

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A half-educated physician is not valuable. He thinks he can cure everything.
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My axiom is, to succeed in business: avoid my example.
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Each of you, for himself, by himself and on his own responsibility, must speak.
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It is better to give than receive- especially advice.
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If I'd seen a playwright ever write an' play at the same time, I'd have given 'em more of a chance at cards. Can I get an 'amen?'
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Those who do not read the news are uninformed. Those who do are misinformed.
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Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.
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Nothing is made in vain, but the fly came near it.
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The reason why truth is so much stranger than fiction is that there is no requirement for it to be consistent.
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I went to the circus, and loafed around the back side till the watchman went by, and then dived in under the tent. I had my twenty-dollar gold piece and some other money, but I reckoned I better save it.... I ain't opposed to spending money on circuses, when there ain't no other way, but there ain't no use in wasting it on them.
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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.
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I am able to say that while I am not ruggedly well, I am not ill enough to excite an undertaker.
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There will never be a perfect time to quit smoking. A time when you don't have any distractions or stress... If you had started today one year ago, this would not even be an issue for you today! Don't waste another year!
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Memories which someday will become all beautiful when the last annoyance that encumbers them shall have faded out of our minds.
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If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance.
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I wrote 'Tom Sawyer' and 'Huck Finn' for adults exclusively, and it always distressed me when I find that boys and girls have been allowed access to them. The mind that becomes soiled in youth can never again be washed clean.
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I felt so lonesome I most wished I was dead. The stars were shining, and the leaves rustled in the woods ever so mournful and I heard an owl, away off, who-whooing about somebody that was dead, and a whippowill and a dog crying about somebody that was going to die.
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The Germans are exceedingly fond of Rhine wines they are put up in tall, slender bottles, and are considered a pleasant beverage. One tells them from vinegar by the label.
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Honest poverty is a gem that even a king might be proud to call his own - but I wish to sell out
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