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We despise all reverences and all objects of reverence which are outside the pale of our list of sacred things. And yet, with strange inconsistency, we are shocked when other people despise and defile the things which are holy to us.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Outside
Inconsistency
Objects
Shocked
Holy
Pale
Strange
Despise
Religion
Reverence
Things
List
People
Lists
Sacred
Defile

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To be good is noble but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.
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Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.
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An occultation of Venus is not half so difficult as an eclipse of the sun, but because it comes seldom the world thinks it's a grand thing.
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There warn't anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there warn't any lock on the door, and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summer-time because it's cool. If you notice, most folks don't go to church only when they've got to but a hog is different.
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Duties are not performed for duty's sake, but because their neglect would make the man uncomfortable. A man performs but one duty - the duty of contenting his spirit, the duty of making himself agreeable to himself.
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If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.
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A monarch, when good, is entitled to the consideration which we accord to a pirate who keeps Sunday School between crimes when bad, he is entitled to none at all.
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Authorship is not a trade, it is an inspiration authorship does not keep an office, its habitation is all out under the sky, and everywhere the winds are blowing and the sun is shining and the creatures of God are free.
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She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot
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There ain't nothing more to write about and I'm rotten glad of it, because if I'd know'd what trouble it was to make a book, I wouldn't a tackled it.
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The work that is really a man's own work is play and not work at all.
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There are laws to protect the freedom of the press's speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press
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Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
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A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.
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We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles.
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Morals consist of political morals, commercial morals, ecclesiastical morals, and morals.
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The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture he will never get a set which can really be depended on 'till a dentist makes him one.
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If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.
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Don't just sit there and worry. Be proactive. Do something - anything - about what's worrying you so you can gain information, focus and control over the situation. I've suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.
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The most difficult We do not deal in facts when we are contemplating ourselves.
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