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The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Things
Never
Aging
Clearly
Older
Happened
Age
Remember

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He had only one vanity he thought he could give advice better than any other person.
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The difference between those that succeed and those that fail is, those that succeeded tried.
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When I take up one of Jane Austen's books ... I feel like a barkeep entering the kingdom of heaven. I know what his sensation would be and his private comments. He would not find the place to his taste, and he would probably say so.
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Do good when you can, and charge when you think they will stand it.
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Those who do not read have no advantage over those who cannot read.
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All people have had ill luck, but Jairus's daughter and Lazarus had the worst.
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Oh Death where is thy sting! It has none. But life has.
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There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.
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It's so damned humiliating.
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Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.
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A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to you than the ninety-and -nine which you had to work for, and money won at faro or in stock snuggles into your heart in the same way.
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Talent without work is useless, thank God
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All men are ignorant, just on different subjects.
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Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues.
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It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever blowing through one's head.
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