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You can't reason with your heart it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
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Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
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Science Fiction Writer
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Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Love
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Intellect
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If you're looking for friends when you need them...it's too late.
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To write without pay until somebody offers pay. If nobody offers pay within three years, the candidate may look upon this circumstance with the most implicit confidence as the sign that sawing wood is what he was intended for.
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Like most people, I often feel mean, and act accordingly.
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There are many humorous things in the world among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages.
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While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.
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There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.
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Life is short. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly and love truly.
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No God and no religion can survive ridicule. No political church, no nobility, no royalty or other fraud, can face ridicule in a fair field, and live.
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In India, 'cold weather' is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.
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Greece is a bleak, unsmiling desert, without agriculture, manufactures or commerce, apparently. What supports its poverty-stricken people or its Government, is a mystery.
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A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?
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...nothing so liberalizes a man and expands the kindly instincts that nature put in him as travel and contact with many kinds of people.
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Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
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There are two things nobody should ever have to watch being made, sausage and laws.
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Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke.
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If true, rarely beautiful. If beautiful, rarely true.
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Of the 417 commandments, only a single one of the 417 has found ministerial obedience multiply and replenish the earth. To it sinner & saint, scholar & ignoramus, Christian & savage are alike loyal.
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I can understand German as well as the maniac that invented it, but I talk it best through an interpreter.
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God was left out of the Constitution, but was furnished a front seat in this nations currency. (In God we Trust) is a lie, this nations trust has always been with the dollar.
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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
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