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When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
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Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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Hardly
Fourteen
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Learned
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Much
Learning
Ignorant
Astonishing
Years
Stand
Dad
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Men
Age
Seven
Ironic
Fathering
Love
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Ignorance
Parenting
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More quotes by Mark Twain
What a lumbering poor vehicle prose is for the conveying of a great thought! ... Prose wanders around with a lantern & laboriously schedules & verifies the details & particulars of a valley & its frame of crags & peaks, then Poetry comes, & lays bare the whole landscape with a single splendid flash.
Mark Twain
To be a patriot, one had to say, and keep on saying, Our Country, right or wrong, and urge on the little war. Have you not perceived that that phrase is an insult to the nation?
Mark Twain
Indecency, vulgarity, obscenity - these are strictly confined to man he invented them. Among the higher animals there is no trace of them. They hide nothing. They are not ashamed.
Mark Twain
More than once I had seen a noble who had gotten his enemy at a disadvantage stop to pray before cutting his throat.
Mark Twain
I pledged myself to smoke but one cigar a day. I kept the cigar waiting until bedtime, then I had a luxurious time with it. But desire persecuted me every day and all day long. I found myself hunting for larger cigars...within the month my cigar had grown to such proportions I could have used it as a crutch.
Mark Twain
It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever blowing through one's head.
Mark Twain
Vote: The only commodity that is peddleable without a license.
Mark Twain
I ordinarily smoke fifteen cigars during my five hours' labours, and if my interest reaches the enthusiastic point, I smoke more. I smoke with all my might, and allow no intervals.
Mark Twain
When you feel like tellin a feller to go to the devil - tell him to go to Chicago - it'll anser every purpose, and is perhaps, a leetle more expensive.
Mark Twain
All war must be just the killing of strangers against whom you feel no personal animosity strangers whom, in other circumstances, you would help if you found them in trouble, and who would help you if you needed it.
Mark Twain
There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth.
Mark Twain
I have been cautioned to talk but be careful not to say anything. I do not consider this a difficult task.
Mark Twain
It is easier to stay out than get out.
Mark Twain
None of us can be as great as God, but any of us can be as good.
Mark Twain
Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
Mark Twain
We Americans are the most lavish and showiest and most luxury loving people on the earth and at our masthead we fly one true and honest symbol, the gaudiest flag the world has ever seen.
Mark Twain
In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination
Mark Twain
...Man is a marvelous curiosity. When he is at his very very best he is a sort of low grade nickel-plated angel at his worst he is unspeakable, unimaginable and first and last and all the time he is a sarcasm. Yet he blandly and in all sincerity calls himself the 'noblest work of God.'
Mark Twain
Intellectual ''work'' is misnamed it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.
Mark Twain
It has taken a weary long time to persuade American Presbyterians to give up infant damnation and try to bear it the best they can.
Mark Twain