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When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Around
Learned
Entrepreneur
Sarcasm
Much
Learning
Ignorant
Astonishing
Years
Stand
Dad
Publishers
Men
Age
Seven
Ironic
Fathering
Love
Success
Ignorance
Parenting
Humorists
Funny
Motivational
Sarcastic
Astonished
Family
Humor
Birthday
Fatherhood
Father
Boys
Hardly
Fourteen

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Education that consists in learning things and not the meaning of them is feeding upon the husks and not the corn
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Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it.
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When angry, count to four when very angry, swear.
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What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it. . . . The work that is really a man's own work is play and not work at all. . . . When we talk about the great workers of the world we really mean the great players of the world.
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Of course, no man is entirely in his right mind at any time.
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Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare! Punch, brothers! punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
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My sister...was an interested and zealous invalid during sixty-five years, tried all the new diseases as fast as they came out, and always enjoyed the newest one more than any that went before my brother had accumulated forty-two brands of Christianity before he was called away.
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Why is it that, among men, physical courage is a trait so plenteous yet moral courage is a trait so rare?
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The highest pleasure to be got out of freedom, and having nothing to do, is labor.
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Thanksgiving day. Let us all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks now, but the turkeys.
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George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.
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I could forgive the boy, now, if he'd committed a million sins!
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In the ancient city of London, on a certain autumn day in the second quarter of the sixteenth century, a boy was born to a poor family of the name of Canty, who did not want him.
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Frankenstein took some flesh and bones and blood and made a man out of them the man ran away and fell to raping and robbing and murdering everywhere, and Frankenstein was horrified and in despair, and said, I made him, without asking his consent, and it makes me responsible for every crime he commits. I am the criminal, he is innocent.
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As a rule, we go about with masks, we go about looking honest, and we are able to conceal ourselves all through the day.
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The exercise of an extraordinary gift is the supremest pleasure in life.
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If you have to swallow a frog, don't stare at it too long.
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The lie, as a virtue, a principle, is eternal the lie, as a recreation, a solace, a refuge in time of need, the fourth Grace, the tenth Muse, man's best and surest friend is immortal
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If one is honest there is no need to remember.
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God's great cosmic joke on the human race was requiring that men and women live together in marriage
Mark Twain