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It's easy to make friends, but hard to get rid of them.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Friends
Easy
Hard
Make

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Manifestly, dying is nothing to a really great and brave man.
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Life is but a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream.
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Heaven is by favor if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out. Of all the creatures ever made (man) is the most detestable. Of the entire brood, he is the only one... that possesses malice. He is the only creature that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain.
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A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
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It takes me a long time to lose my temper, but once lost I could not find it with a dog.
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Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.
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Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood.
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A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.
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Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
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Every civilization carries the seeds of its own destruction, and the same cycle shows in them all. The Republic is born, flourishes, decays into plutocracy, and is captured by the shoemaker whom the mercenaries and millionaires make into a king. The people invent their oppressors, and the oppressors serve the function for which they are invented.
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It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.
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It is curious and interesting to notice what an attraction a fussy, mincing, nickel-plated word has for you.
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Each of you, for himself, by himself and on his own responsibility, must speak.
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We find not much in ourselves to admire, we are always privately wanting to be like somebody else. If everybody was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes
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Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
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Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled.
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It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing - I used to be a good boy.
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How little a thing can make us happy when we feel that we have earned it.
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'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
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in order to make a man or boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.
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