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It's easy to make friends, but hard to get rid of them.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Friends
Easy
Hard
Make

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There's a good spot tucked away somewhere in everybody. You'll be a long time finding it, sometimes.
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Do you reckon Tom Sawyer was satisfied after all them adventures?
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First catch your Boer, then kick him.
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They did not know it was impossible so they did it
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If there is one thing that will make a man peculiarly and insufferable self-conceited, it is to have his stomach behave itself, the first day at sea, when nearly all his comrades are seasick.
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Time spent with your children is time wisely spent.
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There is a great difference between feeding parties to wild beasts and stirring up their finer feelings in an inquisition. One is the system of degraded barbarians, the other of enlightened civilized people.
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One may make their house a palace of sham, or they can make it a home, a refuge.
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To be, or not to be that is the bare bodkin That makes calamity of so long life.
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If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.
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We have to keep our God placated with prayer, and even then we are never sure of him-how much higher and finer is the Indian's God...Our illogical God is all-powerful in name, but impotent in fact the Great Spirit is not all-powerful, but does the very best he can for his injun and does it free of charge
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There is nothing to be learned from the second kick of a mule.
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It is a time when one's spirit is subdued and sad, one knows not why when the past seems a storm-swept desolation, life a vanity and a burden, and the future but a way to death.
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What's the use you learning to do right , when it's troublesome to do right and it ain't no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same?
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In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
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What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
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None of us can be as great as God, but any of us can be as good.
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I am always reading immoral books on the sly, and then selfishly trying to prevent other people from having the same wicked good time.
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Wisdom teaches us that none but birds should go out early, and that not even birds should do it unless they are out of worms.
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An author values a compliment even when it comes from a source of doubtful competency.
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