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Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR per G.G., CHIEF OF ORDNANCE
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Moral
Chief
Order
Chiefs
Persons
Motive
Find
Plot
Ordnance
Author
Huckleberry
Narrative
Prosecuted
Shot
Banished
Shots
Attempting
More quotes by Mark Twain
The lightning there is peculiar it is so convincing, that when it strikes a thing it doesn't leave enough of that thing behind for you to tell whether-Well, you'd think it was something valuable, and a Congressman had been there.
Mark Twain
I am content to be a bric-a-bracker and a Ceramiker.
Mark Twain
Troubles are only mental it is the mind that manufactures them, and the mind can gorge them, banish them, abolish them.
Mark Twain
The laws of Nature take precedence of all human laws. The purpose of all human laws is one - to defeat the laws of Nature. This is the case among all the nations, both civilized and savage. It is a grotesquerie, but when the human race is not grotesque it is because it is asleep and losing its opportunity.
Mark Twain
Don't just sit there and worry. Be proactive. Do something - anything - about what's worrying you so you can gain information, focus and control over the situation. I've suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.
Mark Twain
There is a great difference between feeding parties to wild beasts and stirring up their finer feelings in an inquisition. One is the system of degraded barbarians, the other of enlightened civilized people.
Mark Twain
It is not what a man knows, but what he thinks of in time.
Mark Twain
The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. Nor upon a cold stove lid.
Mark Twain
Truth is stranger than fiction-to some people, but I am measurably familiar with it.
Mark Twain
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
Mark Twain
Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth $4 a minute.
Mark Twain
The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
Mark Twain
There ain't anything that is so interesting to look at as a place that a book has talked about.
Mark Twain
A lie can make it half way around the world before the truth has time to put its boots on.
Mark Twain
Do your duty today and repent tomorrow.
Mark Twain
Jane Austen's books, too, are absent from this library. Just that one omission alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.
Mark Twain
I have too much respect for the truth to drag it out on every trifling occasion.
Mark Twain
The minute we get reconciled to a person, how willing we are to throw aside little needless punctilios and pronounce his name right.
Mark Twain
But we love the Old Travelers. We love to hear them prate and drivel and lie.
Mark Twain
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
Mark Twain
