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Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Respectful
Superiors

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None but an ass pays a compliment and asks a favour at the same time. There are many asses.
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The cost of living hasn't effected its popularity.
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Our lives, our liberty, and our property are never in greater danger than when Congress is in session.
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There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought -a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!
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The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the life too closely examined may not be lived at all.
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If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.
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Benefit of clergy: Half-rate on the railroad.
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In forgiving, people are not being asked to forget. On the contrary, it is important to remember, so that we should not let such atrocities happen again. Forgiveness does not mean condoning what has been done. It means taking what happened seriously...drawing out the sting in the memory that threatens our entire existence.
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That cat will write her autograph all over your leg if you let her.
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There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when he can.
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If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be — a Christian.
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It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise.
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Wheresoever she was, there was Eden.
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I have criticized absent people so often, and then discovered, to my humiliation, that I was talking with their relatives, that I have grown superstitious about that sort of thing and dropped it.
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The only very marked difference between the average civilized man and the average savage is that the one is gilded and the other is painted.
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The old Irish when immersing a babe at baptism left out the right arm so that it would remain pagan for good fighting
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I'm the only person who has ever found the right way to build an autobiography.
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I am content to be a bric-a-bracker and a Ceramiker.
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