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Which is him? The grammar was faulty, maybe, but we could not know, then, that it would go in a book someday.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Faulty
Grammar
Someday
Maybe
Book
Would
More quotes by Mark Twain
I have always been rather better treated in San Francisco than I actually deserved.
Mark Twain
More than once I have been humiliated by my resemblance to God the father He is always longing for the love of His children and trying to get it on the cheapest and laziest terms He can invent.
Mark Twain
I do not wish any reward but to know I have done the right thing.
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I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force.
Mark Twain
It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive.
Mark Twain
There is no use in your walking five miles to fish when you can depend on being just as unsuccessful near home.
Mark Twain
Wit and Humor - if any difference, it is in duration - lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently but one is vivid, and can do damage - the other fools along and enjoys elaboration.
Mark Twain
Children have but little charity for one another's defects
Mark Twain
I pledged myself to smoke but one cigar a day. I kept the cigar waiting until bedtime, then I had a luxurious time with it. But desire persecuted me every day and all day long. I found myself hunting for larger cigars...within the month my cigar had grown to such proportions I could have used it as a crutch.
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I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics. No man can.
Mark Twain
Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth $4 a minute.
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There is nothing to be learned from the second kick of a mule.
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Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
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Does the human being reason? No he thinks, muses, reflects, but does not reason...that is, in the two things which are the peculiar domain of the heart, not the mind, politics and religion. He doesn't want to know the other side. He wants arguments and statistics for his own side, and nothing more.
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Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.
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Travel has no longer any charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to except heaven & hell & I have only a vague curiosity about one of those.
Mark Twain
You may say organize, organize, organize but there may be so much organization that it will interfere with the work to be done.
Mark Twain
I was born with Halley's Comet and I expect to die upon its return
Mark Twain
Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR per G.G., CHIEF OF ORDNANCE
Mark Twain
Politicians, old buildings, and prostitutes become respectable with age.
Mark Twain