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A sincere compliment is always grateful to a lady, so long as you don't try to knock her down with it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Long
Always
Flattery
Knock
Compliment
Sincere
Lady
Grateful
Trying

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A habit cannot be tossed out the window it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.
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There is only one good sex. The female one.
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A crowded police docket is the surest of all signs that trade is brisk and money plenty.
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Probably there is an imperceptible touch of something permanent that one feels instinctively to adhere to true humour, whereas wit may be the mere conversational shooting up of smartness--a bright feather, to be blown into space the second after it is launched...Wit seems to be counted a very poor relation to Humour....Humour is never artifici
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How stunning are the changes which age makes in a man while he sleeps!
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That is a society editor, sitting there elegantly dressed, with his legs crossed in that indolent way, observing the clothes the ladies wear, so that he can describe them for his paper and make them out finer than they are and get bribes for it and become wealthy.
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Tom appeared on the sidewalk with a bucket of whitewash and a long-handled brush. He surveyed the fence, and all gladness left him and a deep melancholy settled down upon his spirit. Thirty yards of board fence nine feet high. Life to him seemed hollow, and existence but a burden.
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One must travel, to learn. Every day, now, old Scriptural phrases that never possessed any significance for me before, take to themselves a meaning.
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When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens anywhere else.
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The human being places sexual intercourse above all other joys, but leaves it out of his heaven.
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Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expensive and nefarious kind of government ever heard of on earth
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One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her.
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Education that consists in learning things and not the meaning of them is feeding upon the husks and not the corn
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There are some natures which never grow large enough to speak out and say a bad act is a bad act, until they have inquired into the politics or the nationality of the man who did it.
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There is this trouble about special providences namely, there is so often a doubt as to which party was intended to be the beneficiary. In the case of the children, the bears, and the prophet, the bears got more real satisfaction out of the episode than the prophet did, because they got the children.
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Life should begin with age and its privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and its capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages.
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Change is the handmaiden Nature requires to do her miracles with.
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Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.
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We are all alike, on the inside.
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I have at last, after several months' experience, made up my mind that [New York] is a splendid desert--a domed and steepled solitude, where the stranger is lonely in the midst of a million of his race.
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