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Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Wine
Scotch
Drink
Cocktails
Anything
Whiskey
Enough
Champagne
Much
Drank
Good
Barely
Whisk
Alcohol
Whisky
Drinking
Drinkers

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I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
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Whose property is my body? Probably mine. I so regard it. If I experiment with it, who must be answerable? I, not the State. If I choose injudiciously, does the state die? Oh, no.
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The piano may do for love-sick girls who lace themselves to skeletons, and lunch on chalk, pickles and slate pencils, but give me the banjo.
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I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else... I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road.
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Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination.
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Love is madness, if thwarted it develops fast.
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Temperate temperance is best intemperate temperance injures the cause of temperance.
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I do not allow my schooling to interfere with my education
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Thanksgiving day. Let us all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks now, but the turkeys.
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Etiquette requires us to admire the human race.
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If smoking cigars is not permitted in heaven, I won''t go.
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Next you'd see a raft sliding by, away off yonder, and maybe a galoot on it chopping. . . you'd see the ax flash and come down-you don't hear nothing you see the ax go up again, and by the time it's above the man's head then you hear the k'chunk!-it had took all that time to come over the water.
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I pledged myself to smoke but one cigar a day. I kept the cigar waiting until bedtime, then I had a luxurious time with it. But desire persecuted me every day and all day long. I found myself hunting for larger cigars...within the month my cigar had grown to such proportions I could have used it as a crutch.
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The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.
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In my nostrils still lives the breath of flowers that perished twenty years ago.
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