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Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Would
Pirates
Pirate
Sailing
Permit
Lived
Hope
Good
More quotes by Mark Twain
No one is sane, straight along, year in and year out, and we all know it. Our insanities are of varying sorts, and express themselves in varying forms-fortunately harmless forms as a rule.
Mark Twain
Tell me about a person's family, friends, and community, and I'll tell you what his opinions are.
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Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
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I have spent most of my life worrying about things that have never happened.
Mark Twain
A newspaper is not just for reporting the news as it is, but to make people mad enough to do something about it.
Mark Twain
France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.
Mark Twain
I've never let my school interfere with my education.
Mark Twain
My own luck has been curious all my literary life I never could tell a lie that anyone would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.
Mark Twain
There are those who would misteach us that to stick in a rut is consistency - and a virtue, and that to climb out of the rut is inconsistency - and a vice.
Mark Twain
Adam did not want the apple for the apple's sake he wanted it because it was forbidden.
Mark Twain
Only he who has seen better days and lives to see better days again knows their full value.
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If a spectacle is going to be particularly imposing I prefer to see it through somebody else's eyes, because that man will always exaggerate. Then I can exaggerate his exaggeration, and my account of the thing will be the most impressive.
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Many people have the reasoning facility, but no one uses it in religious matters.
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It's not as bad as it sounds.
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The common eye sees only the outside of things, and judges by that, but the seeing eye pierces through and reads the heart and the soul, finding there capacities which the outside didn't indicate or promise, and which the other kind of eye couldn't detect.
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From his cradle to his grave a man never does a single thing which has any FIRST AND FOREMOST object but one -- to secure peace of mind, spiritual comfort, for HIMSELF.
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The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Mark Twain
I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.
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Education is what remains when what is learned has been taken away.
Mark Twain
A woman springs a sudden reproach upon you which provokes a hot retort, and then she will presently ask you to apologize.
Mark Twain