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Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Would
Pirates
Pirate
Sailing
Permit
Lived
Hope
Good

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Every civilization carries the seeds of its own destruction, and the same cycle shows in them all. The Republic is born, flourishes, decays into plutocracy, and is captured by the shoemaker whom the mercenaries and millionaires make into a king. The people invent their oppressors, and the oppressors serve the function for which they are invented.
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No public interest is anything other or nobler than a massed accumulation of private interests.
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You cannot have all chiefs you gotta have Indians too. Perfect love cannot be without equality. A friend to everybody and to nobody is the same thing. We are all alike, on the inside.
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The very marks on the bottom of a piece of rare crockery are able to throw me into a gibbering ecstasy.
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Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.
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The pulpit and the optimist are always talking about the human race's steady march toward ultimate perfection. As usual, they leave out the statistics. It is the pulpit's way - the optimist's way.
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Man proposes, but God blocks the game.
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The past does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.
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Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.
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The law of work does seem utterly unfair-but there it is, and nothing can change it: the higher the pay in enjoyment the worker gets out of it, the higher shall be his pay in cash, too.
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To create man was a quaint and original idea, but to add the sheep was tautology.
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An uneasy conscience is a hair in the mouth.
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Every man has a secret ambition: To outsmart horses, fish and women.
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Training- training is everything training is all there is to a person. We speak of nature it is folly there is no such thing as nature what we call by that misleading name is merely heredity and training. We have no thoughts of our own, no opinions of our own they are transmitted to us, trained into us.
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The moral of it is this: If you are of any account, stay at home and make your way by faithful diligence but if you are 'no account,' go away from home, and then you will have to work, whether you want to or not. Thus you become a blessing to your friends by ceasing to be a nuisance to them-if the people you go among suffer by the operation.
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Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
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Humor is man's greatest blessing.
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The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
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