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April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Humor
Four
Pranks
Upon
Reminded
Funny
April
Three
Sixty
Humorous
Fool
Hundred

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But soft you, the fair Ophelia: Ope not thy ponderous and marble jaws, But get thee to a nunnery - go!
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Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the under dog in the fight -- this is magnanimity but bet on the other one -- this is business.
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Life does not consist mainly - or even largely - of facts and happenings.
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Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.
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The two Testaments are interesting, each in its own way. The Old one gives us a picture of these people's Deity as he was before he got religion, the other one gives us a picture of him as he appeared afterward.
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The only very marked difference between the average civilized man and the average savage is that the one is gilded and the other is painted.
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Life becomes fully understandable only the moment we realise that we are all mad.
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Circumstances make man, not man circumstances.
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His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere.
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It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever blowing through one's head.
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I saw men whom thirty years had changed but slightly but their wives had grown old. These were good women it is very wearing to be good.
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Once I talked to the inmates of an insane asylum in Hartford. I have talked to idiots a thousand times, but only once to the insane.
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There are no accidents, all things have a deep and calculated purpose sometimes the methods employed by Providence seem strange and incongruous, but we have only to be patient and wait for the result: then we recognize that no others would have answered the purpose, and we are rebuked and humbled.
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What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
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Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes-none knows whence-and cannot explain itself.
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There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined.
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Broad, wholesome, charitable views .. can not be acquired by vegetating in one's little corner of the earth.
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No one can tell me what is a good cigar--for me. I am the only judge... There are no standards--no real standards. Each man's preference is the only standard for him, the only one which he can accept, the only one which can command him.
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It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.
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There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth.
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