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The dog is a gentleman I hope to go to his heaven not man's.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Heaven
Canine
Hope
Puppy
Men
Grieving
Pet
Gentleman
Dog
Appreciate
Animal

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These people´s God has shown them by a million acts that he respects none of the Bible´s statues. He breaks every one of them himself, adultery and all.
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when the human race is not grotesque it is because it is asleep and losing its opportunity.
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The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing, it is the thing to watch over and care for and be loyal to institutions are extraneous. . . .
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The difference between those that succeed and those that fail is, those that succeeded tried.
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What a lumbering poor vehicle prose is for the conveying of a great thought! ... Prose wanders around with a lantern & laboriously schedules & verifies the details & particulars of a valley & its frame of crags & peaks, then Poetry comes, & lays bare the whole landscape with a single splendid flash.
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Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one basket - which is but a matter of saying, Scatter your money and your attention but the wise man saith, Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET. - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
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The difference between fiction and nonfiction is that fiction must be absolutely believable.
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Temperate temperance is best intemperate temperance injures the cause of temperance.
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A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.
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Gratitude is a debt which usually goes on accumulating like blackmail the more you pay, the more is exacted.
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Unused talents gives you no advantage over someone who has no talent at all.
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Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.
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Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
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I am always reading immoral books on the sly, and then selfishly trying to prevent other people from having the same wicked good time.
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Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?
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I said there was but one solitary thing about the past worth remembering, and that was the fact that it is past-can't be restored.
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I speak French with timidity, and not flowingly--except when excited. When using that language I have often noticed that I have hardly ever been mistaken for a Frenchman, except, perhaps, by horses never, I believe, by people.
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Homely truth is unpalatable.
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Pilgrim's Progress , about a man that left his family, it didn't say why. I read considerable in it now and then. The statements was interesting, but tough.
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My own luck has been curious all my literary life I never could tell a lie that anyone would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.
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