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The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Humor
Taxation
Inspiration
Communism
Differences
Libertarian
Liberty
Skin
Business
Leaves
Political
Skins
Men
Taxes
Taxidermist
Difference
Libertarianism
More quotes by Mark Twain
The introduction of homeopathy forced the old school doctor to stir around and learn something of a rational nature about his business. You may honestly feel grateful that homeopathy survived the attempts of the allopaths to destroy it.
Mark Twain
A soiled baby with a neglected nose cannot be conscientiously regarded as a thing of beauty.
Mark Twain
When in doubt tell the truth.
Mark Twain
If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.
Mark Twain
I admire him, I frankly confess it and when his time is come I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.
Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
I am living a new and exalted life of late. It steeps me in a sacred rapture to see a portrait develop and take soul under my hand. First, I throw off a study - just a mere study, a few apparently random lines - and to look at it you would hardly ever suspect who it was going to be even I cannot tell, myself.
Mark Twain
I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie I can, but I won't.
Mark Twain
Does the human being reason? No he thinks, muses, reflects, but does not reason...that is, in the two things which are the peculiar domain of the heart, not the mind, politics and religion. He doesn't want to know the other side. He wants arguments and statistics for his own side, and nothing more.
Mark Twain
Humor is like a frog if you dissect it, it dies.
Mark Twain
School gets in the way of my learning.
Mark Twain
I simply can't resist a cat, particularly a purring one.
Mark Twain
I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshold of age in 1977 I shall be 142.
Mark Twain
If you want to change the future, you must change what you're doing in the present.
Mark Twain
I ordinarily smoke fifteen cigars during my five hours' labours, and if my interest reaches the enthusiastic point, I smoke more. I smoke with all my might, and allow no intervals.
Mark Twain
A marriage. . .will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life.
Mark Twain
My idea of our civilization is that it is a shoddy, poor thing and full of cruelties, vanities, arrogances, meannesses and hypocrisies.
Mark Twain
The equator was wisely put where it is, because if it had been run through Europe all the kings would have tried to grab it.
Mark Twain
No one can tell me what is a good cigar - for me. I am the only judge. People who claim to know say that I smoke the worst cigars in the world. They bring their own cigars when they come to my house.
Mark Twain
We all like to see people sea-sick when we are not ourselves.
Mark Twain
