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I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
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Autobiographer
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Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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More quotes by Mark Twain
To place man properly at the present time, he stands somewhere between the angels and the French.
Mark Twain
Data is like garbage. You'd better know what you are going to do with it before you collect it.
Mark Twain
One must keep one's character. Earn a character first if you can, and if you can't, then assume one.
Mark Twain
The only people that a bank will loan money to is the very people who don't need it.
Mark Twain
I should be sorry to think it was the publishers themselves they got up this entire little flutter to enable them to unload a book that was taking too much room in their cellars, but you can never tell what a publisher will do. I have been one myself.
Mark Twain
None of us can be as great as God, but any of us can be as good.
Mark Twain
Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie - I found that out.
Mark Twain
And so when I couldn't stand it no longer, I lit out. I got into my old rags and my sugar-hogshead again, and was free and satisfied.
Mark Twain
Only he who has seen better days and lives to see better days again knows their full value.
Mark Twain
I am the entire human race compacted together. I have found that there is no ingredient of the race which I do not possess in either a small way or a large way.
Mark Twain
Too bad that youth is wasted on the young.
Mark Twain
Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail.
Mark Twain
I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
Mark Twain
In all the ages, three-fourths of the support of the great charities has been conscience money.
Mark Twain
Public Servant: Persons chosen by the people to distribute the graft.
Mark Twain
Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.
Mark Twain
It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want—oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!
Mark Twain
That is a society editor, sitting there elegantly dressed, with his legs crossed in that indolent way, observing the clothes the ladies wear, so that he can describe them for his paper and make them out finer than they are and get bribes for it and become wealthy.
Mark Twain
If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.
Mark Twain
The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the tellingthe comic and the witty story upon the matter.
Mark Twain
