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I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Inspirational
Ironic
Happens
Entrepreneur
Things
Humorous
Life
Lived
Terrible
Happened
Actually
Funny
Humorists

More quotes by Mark Twain

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The frankest and freest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter the writer gets his limitless freedom of statement and expression from his sense that no stranger is going to see what he is writing.
Mark Twain
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Politicians, old buildings, and prostitutes become respectable with age.
Mark Twain
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To be a patriot, one had to say, and keep on saying, Our Country, right or wrong, and urge on the little war. Have you not perceived that that phrase is an insult to the nation?
Mark Twain
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Loyalty is a word which has worked vast harm for it has been made to trick men into being loyal to a thousand iniquities, whereas the true loyalty should have been to themselves - in which case there would have ensured a rebellion, and the throwing off of that deceptive yoke.
Mark Twain
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God cures and the doctor sends the bill.
Mark Twain
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What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth.
Mark Twain
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Don't just sit there and worry. Be proactive. Do something - anything - about what's worrying you so you can gain information, focus and control over the situation. I've suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.
Mark Twain
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If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill came always together, who would escape hanging?
Mark Twain
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The ordinary chestnut can beget a sickly and reluctant laugh, but it takes a horse chestnut to fetch the gorgeous big horse-laugh.
Mark Twain
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It's so damned humiliating.
Mark Twain
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Ignorance is not not knowin' - Ignorance is knowin' what ain't so.
Mark Twain
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Doesn't make any difference who we are or what we are, there's always somebody to look down on.
Mark Twain
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Truth is more of a stranger than fiction. When in doubt, tell the truth. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its use.
Mark Twain
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Thanksgiving Day - Let all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks, now, but the turkeys. In the island of Fiji they do not use turkeys, they use plumbers. It does not become you and me to sneer at Fiji.
Mark Twain
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Progressive improvement beats delayed perfection.
Mark Twain
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God's great cosmic joke on the human race was requiring that men and women live together in marriage
Mark Twain
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When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
Mark Twain
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Experience of life (not of books) is the only capital usable in such a book as you have attempted one can make no judicious use of this capital while it is new.
Mark Twain
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If the bubble reputation can be obtained only at the cannon's mouth, I am willing to go there for it, provided the cannon is empty.
Mark Twain
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The first half of my life I went to school, the second half of my life I got an education.
Mark Twain