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I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Happened
Actually
Funny
Humorists
Inspirational
Ironic
Happens
Entrepreneur
Things
Humorous
Life
Lived
Terrible

More quotes by Mark Twain

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All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.
Mark Twain
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Half of the results of a good intentions are evil half the results of an evil intention are good.
Mark Twain
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They say that you can't live by bread alone, but I can live on compliments.
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You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can't get them across, your ideas won't get you anywhere. Lee Iacocca Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
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But old fools is the biggest fools there is.
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The low level which commercial morality has reached in America is deplorable. We have humble God fearing Christian men among us who will stoop to do things for a million dollars that they ought not to be willing to do for less than 2 millions.
Mark Twain
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Tell me about a person's family, friends, and community, and I'll tell you what his opinions are.
Mark Twain
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for business reasons, I must preserve the outward signs of sanity.
Mark Twain
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The moral of it is this: If you are of any account, stay at home and make your way by faithful diligence but if you are 'no account,' go away from home, and then you will have to work, whether you want to or not. Thus you become a blessing to your friends by ceasing to be a nuisance to them-if the people you go among suffer by the operation.
Mark Twain
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Cherimoya, the most delicious fruit known to men.
Mark Twain
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Such is professional jealousy a scientist will never show any kindness for a theory which he did not start himself.
Mark Twain
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The art of prophecy is very difficult, especially with respect to the future.
Mark Twain
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Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time. You cannot eliminate habits that no longer serve you. You can only replace them with new habits that support your goals. Moment by moment, you need to live with awareness and structure the habits that you include or exclude in your days.
Mark Twain
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A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificant by and by.
Mark Twain
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There is a sumptuous variety about the New England weather... In the spring I have counted one hundred and twenty-six different kinds of weather inside of four and twenty hours.
Mark Twain
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They do say that when a man starts down hill everybody is ready to help him with a kick, and I suppose it is so.
Mark Twain
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The kingly office is entitled to no respect. It was originally procured by the highwayman's methods. It remains a perpetuated crime, can never be anything but the symbol of a crime. It is no more entitled to respect than is the flag of a pirate.
Mark Twain
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Change is the handmaiden Nature requires to do her miracles with.
Mark Twain
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Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.
Mark Twain
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I'm the only person who has ever found the right way to build an autobiography.
Mark Twain