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Of course, no man is entirely in his right mind at any time.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Time
Entirely
Courses
Course
Right
Mind
Men

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Familiarity breeds contempt. How accurate that is. The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it.
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If all men were rich, all men would be poor.
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Sometimes my feelings are so hot that I have to take the pen and put them out on paper to keep them from setting me afire inside then all that ink and labor are wasted because I can't print the results
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You ought never to sass old people- unless they sass you first.
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What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
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The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
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I hope all of us may eventually be together in everlasting peace and bliss -- except the inventor of the # telephone .
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We have an insanity plea that would have saved Cain.
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When I want to read something nice, I sit down and write it myself.
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You can't break a bad habit by throwing it out the window. You've got to walk it slowly down the stairs.
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Human beings seem to be a poor invention. If they are the noblest works of God where is the ignoblest?
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By and by when each nation has 20,000 battleships and 5,000,000 soldiers we shall all be safe and the wisdom of statesmanship will stand confirmed.
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To place man properly at the present time, he stands somewhere between the angels and the French.
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To be a patriot, one had to say, and keep on saying, Our Country, right or wrong, and urge on the little war. Have you not perceived that that phrase is an insult to the nation?
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It makes one hope and believe that a day will come when, in the eye of the law, literary property will be as sacred as whiskey, or any other of the necessaries of life. It grieves me to think how far more profound and reverent a respect the law would have for literature if a body could only get drunk on it.
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I felt so lonesome I most wished I was dead. The stars were shining, and the leaves rustled in the woods ever so mournful and I heard an owl, away off, who-whooing about somebody that was dead, and a whippowill and a dog crying about somebody that was going to die.
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Life is but a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream.
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No one can tell me what is a good cigar--for me. I am the only judge... There are no standards--no real standards. Each man's preference is the only standard for him, the only one which he can accept, the only one which can command him.
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Do one thing every day you don't want to do.
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He wa'n't no common dog, he wa'n't no mongrel he was a composite. A composite dog is a dog that is made up of all the valuable qualities that's in the dog breed-kind of a syndicate and a mongrel is made up of all riffraff that's left over.
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