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Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Creatures
Feline
Humor
Leash
Funny
Leashes
Cannot
Crossed
Made
Pet
Would
Improve
Men
Cat
Slave
Deteriorate

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The old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying that such a laugh was money in a man's pocket, because it cut down the doctor's bills like everything.
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Cats are the wildest of the tame and the tamest of the wild
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The peoples furthest from civilization are the ones where equality between man and woman are furthest apart-and we consider this one of the signs of savagery.
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I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.
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To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.
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Foreigners cannot enjoy our food, I suppose, any more than we can enjoy theirs. It is not strange for tastes are made, not born. I might glorify my bill of fare until I was tired but after all, the Scotchman would shake his head and say, 'Where's your haggis?' and the Fijan would sigh and say, 'Where's your missionary?'
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... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar.
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To gnaw on is human, towards digest, divine.
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A powerful agent is the right word: it lights the reader's way and makes it plain.
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Don't wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
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We called him Barney for short. We couldn't use his real name, there wasn't time.
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The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.
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Always obey your parents - when they are present.
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Time spent with your children is time wisely spent.
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That is a simple rule, and easy to remember. When I, a thoughtful and unblessed Presbyterian, examine the Koran, I know that beyond any question every Mohammedan is insane not in all things, but in religious matters.
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The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
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