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I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Writing
Long
Letter
Time
Wrote
Letters
Short
Instead
Write
Didn
More quotes by Mark Twain
I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.
Mark Twain
It has taken a weary long time to persuade American Presbyterians to give up infant damnation and try to bear it the best they can.
Mark Twain
I know all those people. I have friendly, social, and criminal relations with the whole lot of them.
Mark Twain
There are no accidents, all things have a deep and calculated purpose sometimes the methods employed by Providence seem strange and incongruous, but we have only to be patient and wait for the result: then we recognize that no others would have answered the purpose, and we are rebuked and humbled.
Mark Twain
...there isn't often anything in Wagner opera that one would call by such a violent name as acting.
Mark Twain
We like to read about rich people in the newspapers the papers know it, and they do their best to keep this appetite liberally fed.
Mark Twain
Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than Methuselah saw in his whole lifetime.
Mark Twain
What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.
Mark Twain
Heaven is by favor if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out. Of all the creatures ever made (man) is the most detestable. Of the entire brood, he is the only one... that possesses malice. He is the only creature that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain.
Mark Twain
All schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge.
Mark Twain
While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.
Mark Twain
I like the truth sometimes, but I don't care enough for it to hanker after it.
Mark Twain
Out of the depths of my happy heart wells a great tide of love and prayer for this priceless treasure that is confided to my lifelong keeping. You cannot see its waves as they flow toward you, darling, but in these lines you will hear...the distant beating of its surf.
Mark Twain
Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.
Mark Twain
Never be haughty to the humble, never be humble to the haughty.
Mark Twain
Sum all the gifts that man is endowed with, and we give our greatest share of admiration to his energy. And today, if I were a heathen, I would rear a statue to Energy and fall down and worship it!
Mark Twain
It's so damned humiliating.
Mark Twain
Jesus died to save men - a small thing for an immortal to do - and didn't save many, anyway. But if he had been damned for the race, that would have been act of a size proper to a god, and would have saved the whole race.
Mark Twain
I have thought many times since that if poets when they get discouraged would blow their brains out, they could write very much better when they got well.
Mark Twain
Now, isn't imagination a precious thing? It peoples the earth with all manner of wonders.
Mark Twain