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Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July and as a rule they don't know what happened on either occasion.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Two
Rule
School
Summer
Seems
Seem
Dates
Many
Learning
July
Children
Either
Occasion
Public
Occasions
Education
Humorous
Happened
Educational

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A monarch, when good, is entitled to the consideration which we accord to a pirate who keeps Sunday School between crimes when bad, he is entitled to none at all.
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It has always been a peculiarity of the human race that it keeps two sets of morals in stock-the private and the real, and the public and the artificial.
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The human race is a race of cowards and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
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If there is one thing that is really cheerful in the world, it is cheerfulness. I have noticed it often. And I have noticed that when a man is right down cheerful, he is seldom unhappy for the time being. Such is the nature of man.
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If one is honest there is no need to remember.
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The Book of Mormon is chloroform in print
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I will remark in the way of general information, that in California, that land of felicitous nomenclature, the literary name of this sort of stuff is hogwash
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You can't reason with your heart it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.
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Those who do not read the news are uninformed. Those who do are misinformed.
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When I was fourteen years old, I was amazed at how unintelligent my father was. By the time I turned twenty-one, I was astounded how much he had learned in the last seven years.
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Between believing a thing and thinking you KNOW is only a small step and quickly taken.
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The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card.
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But soft you, the fair Ophelia: Ope not thy ponderous and marble jaws, But get thee to a nunnery - go!
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To trust the God of the Bible is to trust an irascible, vindictive, fierce and ever fickle and changeful master.
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We consider that any man who can fiddle all through one of those Virginia Reels without losing his grip may be depended upon in any kind of musical emergency.
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Braveness is resistance to concern, mastery of panic - not absense of anxiety.
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I have done more for San Francisco than any of its old residents. Since I left there it has increased in population fully 300,000. I could have done more - I could have gone earlier - it was suggested.
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When your opinions start to coincide with those of the majority, it is time to reconsider your opinions.
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If smoking cigars is not permitted in heaven, I won''t go.
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To forget pain is to be painless to forget care is to be rid of it to go abroad is to accomplish both.
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