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Wheresoever she was, there was Eden.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Eden
Wheresoever

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My land, the power of training! Of influence! Of education! It can bring a body up to believe anything.
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If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.
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What do you think of the human mind? I mean, in case you think there is a human mind.
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I have at last, after several months' experience, made up my mind that [New York] is a splendid desert--a domed and steepled solitude, where the stranger is lonely in the midst of a million of his race.
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A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?
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Which is him? The grammar was faulty, maybe, but we could not know, then, that it would go in a book someday.
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The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people, but if we tried to shut up the insane we should run out of building materials.
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Familiarity breeds contempt. How accurate that is. The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it.
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Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration.
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If you will notice, there is seldom a telegram in a paper which fails to show up one or more members & beneficiaries of our Civilization as promenading with his shirt-tail up & the rest of his regalia in the wash.
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Demagogue--a vessel containing beer and other liquids.
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The law of work does seem utterly unfair-but there it is, and nothing can change it: the higher the pay in enjoyment the worker gets out of it, the higher shall be his pay in cash, too.
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It is a time when one's spirit is subdued and sad, one knows not why when the past seems a storm-swept desolation, life a vanity and a burden, and the future but a way to death.
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The very marks on the bottom of a piece of rare crockery are able to throw me into a gibbering ecstasy.
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I do not wish any reward but to know I have done the right thing.
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No man that has ever lived has done a thing to please God--primarily. It was done to please himself, then God next.
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There are no accidents, all things have a deep and calculated purpose sometimes the methods employed by Providence seem strange and incongruous, but we have only to be patient and wait for the result: then we recognize that no others would have answered the purpose, and we are rebuked and humbled.
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The government is merely a servant―merely a temporary servant it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.
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I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else... I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road.
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It is the will of God that we must have critics and missionaries and congressmen and humorists, and we must bear the burden
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