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Whiskey is for drinking water is for fighting over.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Whiskey
Drinking
Fighting
Water
Whisky

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I went to the circus, and loafed around the back side till the watchman went by, and then dived in under the tent. I had my twenty-dollar gold piece and some other money, but I reckoned I better save it.... I ain't opposed to spending money on circuses, when there ain't no other way, but there ain't no use in wasting it on them.
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At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass
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It's so damned humiliating.
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Constellations have always been troublesome things to name. If you give one of them a fanciful name, it will always refuse to live up to it it will always persist in not resembling the thing it has been named for.
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Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?
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The law of work does seem utterly unfair-but there it is, and nothing can change it: the higher the pay in enjoyment the worker gets out of it, the higher shall be his pay in cash, too.
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The most difficult We do not deal in facts when we are contemplating ourselves.
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The happy phrasing of a compliment is one of the rarest of human gifts, and the happy delivery of it another.
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The very marks on the bottom of a piece of rare crockery are able to throw me into a gibbering ecstasy.
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Worrying is paying interest on a debt you might not even owe.
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One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques.
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How slow and still the time did drag along.
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Man is a marvelous curiosity...he thinks he is the Creator's pet...he even believes the Creator loves him has passion for him sits up nights to admire him yes and watch over him and keep him out of trouble. He prays to him and thinks he listens. Isn't it a quaint idea.
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