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Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so it is the sickening grammar that they use.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Fighting
Kitten
Funny
Grammar
Use
Cats
Make
Cat
Think
Noise
Thinking
Ignorant
People
Humanity
Sickening
Animal
Aggravating

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When a library expels a book of mine and leaves an unexpurgated Bible lying around where unprotected youth and age can get hold of it, the deep unconscious irony of it delights me and doesn't anger me.
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Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination.
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It is not what a man knows, but what he thinks of in time.
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A little more kindness, A little less speed, A little more giving, A little less greed, A little more smile, A little less frown, A little less kicking, A man while he's down, A little more We, A little less I, A little more laugh, A little less cry, A little more flowers, On the pathway of life, And fewer on graves, At the end of the stri
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Life should begin with age and its privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and its capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages.
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In all my travels the thing that has impressed me the most is the universal brotherhood of man-what there is of it.
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You can't break a bad habit by throwing it out the window. You've got to walk it slowly down the stairs.
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Strip the human race, absolutely naked, and it would be a real democracy. But the introduction of even a rag of tiger skin, or a cowtail, could make a badge of distinction and be the beginning of a monarchy.
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Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
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When majority is insane, sane must go to asylum.
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When there was room on the ledge outside of the pots and boxes for a cat, the cat was there- in sunny weather- stretched at full length, asleep and blissful, with her furry belly to the sun and a paw curved over her nose.
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We can secure other people's approval, if we do right and try hard but our own is worth a hundred of it, and no way has been found out of securing that.
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If you want love and abundance in your life, give it away.
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All people have had ill luck, but Jairus's daughter and Lazarus had the worst.
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Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
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There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
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Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke.
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But in this country we have one great privilege which they don't have in other countries. When a thing gets to be absolutely unbearable the people can rise up and throw it off. That's the finest asset we've got - the ballot box.
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The happy phrasing of a compliment is one of the rarest of human gifts, and the happy delivery of it another.
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I do love compliments, yet I'm often embarrassed to say what I think to the person when I get a compliment. I so often feel that they have not gone far enough.
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