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What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Father
Men
Monkey
Monkeys
Disappointed
Heavenly
Created
Mankind
Creation
More quotes by Mark Twain
Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
Mark Twain
It is higher and nobler to be kind.
Mark Twain
The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to your satisfaction. By that time you begin to clearly and logically perceive what it is you really want to say.
Mark Twain
Grown people everywhere are always likely to cling to the religion they were brought up in.
Mark Twain
If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill came always together, who would escape hanging?
Mark Twain
So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked.
Mark Twain
It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive.
Mark Twain
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Mark Twain
The very marks on the bottom of a piece of rare crockery are able to throw me into a gibbering ecstasy.
Mark Twain
Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it.
Mark Twain
Only he who has seen better days and lives to see better days again knows their full value.
Mark Twain
Such is luck! And such the treatment which honest, good perservance gets so often at the hands of unfair and malicious Nature!
Mark Twain
I have always been rather better treated in San Francisco than I actually deserved.
Mark Twain
The law of work seems unfair, but nothing can change it the more enjoyment you get out of your work, the more money you will make.
Mark Twain
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.
Mark Twain
Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the under dog in the fight -- this is magnanimity but bet on the other one -- this is business.
Mark Twain
We can secure other people's approval, if we do right and try hard but our own is worth a hundred of it, and no way has been found out of securing that.
Mark Twain
Love is an irreresisistible desire to be irresistibily desired.
Mark Twain
My advice to girls: first, don't smoke - to excess second, don't drink - to excess third, don't marry - to excess.
Mark Twain
Time spent with your children is time wisely spent.
Mark Twain