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There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Something
Physics
Investment
Conjecture
Scientist
Wholesale
Gets
Trifling
Return
Mississippi
Fact
Returns
Science
Fascinating
Facts
Math

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The public is the only critic whose judgment is worth anything at all.
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Wherefore being all of one mind, we do highly resolve that government of the grafted by the grafter for the grafter shall not perish from the earth.
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Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie - I found that out.
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We called him Barney for short. We couldn't use his real name, there wasn't time.
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The fear of lightning is one of the most distressing infirmities a human being can be afflicted with. It is mostly confined to women, but now and then you find it in a little dog, and sometimes a man.
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Every time I read a Jane Austen novel, I feel like a bartender at the gates of heaven.
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The kingly office is entitled to no respect. It was originally procured by the highwayman's methods. It remains a perpetuated crime, can never be anything but the symbol of a crime. It is no more entitled to respect than is the flag of a pirate.
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Teaching is like trying to hold 35 corks underwater at once.
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Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
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Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
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Be good and you will be lonely.
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It is a shameful thing to insult a child.
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How lovely is death and how niggardly it is doled out.
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I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
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If smoking cigars is not permitted in heaven, I won''t go.
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The southerner talks music.
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Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
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