Quote

Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Tried
Wouldn
Literature
Times
Sting
Didn
Idiots
Believe
Bees
Idiot
Lots

More quotes by Mark Twain

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Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.
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Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.
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We need not worry so much about what man descends from it's what he descends to that shames the human race.
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But soft you, the fair Ophelia: Ope not thy ponderous and marble jaws, But get thee to a nunnery - go!
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Wherefore being all of one mind, we do highly resolve that government of the grafted by the grafter for the grafter shall not perish from the earth.
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Low comedies are written for the drawing-room, the kitchen and the stable, and if you cut out the kitchen and the stable the drawing-room can't support the play by itself.
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There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth.
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In early times some sufferer had to sit up with a toothache, and he put in the time inventing the German language.
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Teaching is like trying to hold 35 corks underwater at once.
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My advice to girls: first, don't smoke - to excess second, don't drink - to excess third, don't marry - to excess.
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A person who has a cat by the tail knows a whole lot more about cats than someone who has just read about them.
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I found out that I was a Christian for revenue only and I could not bear the thought of that, it was so ignoble.
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None but an ass pays a compliment and asks a favour at the same time. There are many asses.
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Education that consists in learning things and not the meaning of them is feeding upon the husks and not the corn
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Those people.... early stricken of God, intellectually - the departmental interpreters of the laws in Washington... can always be depended on to take any reasonably good law and interpret the common sense all out of it.
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At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass
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None of us can be as great as God, but any of us can be as good.
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When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name, it means trouble.
Mark Twain
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Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.
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I have damaged my intellect trying to imagine why a man should want to invent a repeating clock, and how another man could be found to lust after it and buy it. The man who can guess these riddles is far on the way to guess why the human race was invented - which is another riddle which tires me.
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