Quote

Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Tried
Wouldn
Literature
Times
Sting
Didn
Idiots
Believe
Bees
Idiot
Lots

More quotes by Mark Twain

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Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
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Damn these human beings if I had invented them I would go hide my head in a bag.
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There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought -a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!
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We Americans worship the almighty dollar! Well, it is a worthier god than Heredity Privilege.
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If God is what people say there can be no one in the universe so unhappy as He for He sees unceasingly myriads of His creatures suffering unspeakable miseries--and besides this foresees how they are going to suffer during the remainder of their lives. One might as well say, As unhappy as God.
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All saints can do miracles, but few of them can keep a hotel.
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We write frankly and freely, but then we modify before we print.
Mark Twain
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Always obey your parents - when they are present.
Mark Twain
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He gossips habitually he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.
Mark Twain
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In my age, as in my youth, night brings me many a deep remorse. I realize that from the cradle up I have been like the rest of the race - never quite sane in the night.
Mark Twain
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A soiled baby with a neglected nose cannot be conscientiously regarded as a thing of beauty.
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Truth is stranger than fiction-to some people, but I am measurably familiar with it.
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There are no wild animals until man makes them so.
Mark Twain
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Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else. This is not advice, it is merely custom.
Mark Twain
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The ignorant are afraid to betray surprise or admiration...they think it ill manners.
Mark Twain
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I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.
Mark Twain
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I have too much respect for the truth to drag it out on every trifling occasion.
Mark Twain
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It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help.
Mark Twain
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Jane Austen's books, too, are absent from this library. Just that one omission alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.
Mark Twain
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No one can tell me what is a good cigar--for me. I am the only judge... There are no standards--no real standards. Each man's preference is the only standard for him, the only one which he can accept, the only one which can command him.
Mark Twain