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Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Bigs
Town
Science
Towns
Enough
Majority
Fool
Humor
Side
Sides
Huckleberry
Funny
Fools

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Let us be grateful to Adam: he cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us the curse of labor.
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Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.
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There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when he can.
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To eat is human, to digest, divine
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Let your joy be unconfined!
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Go to bed early, get up early-this is wise.
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April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
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The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.
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The man who is ostentatious of his modesty is twin to the statue that wears a fig-leaf.
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Oh Death where is thy sting! It has none. But life has.
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Never tell a lie-except for practice.
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When I want to read something nice, I sit down and write it myself.
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Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the under dog in the fight -- this is magnanimity but bet on the other one -- this is business.
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God could create the world in six days because he didn't have to make it compatible with the previous version. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company
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Adam did not want the apple for the apple's sake he wanted it because it was forbidden.
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The heart is the real fountain of youth.
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If you invent two or three people and turn them loose in your manuscript, something is bound to happen to them -- you can't help it and then it will take you the rest of the book to get them out of the natural consequences of that occurrence, and so first thing you know, there's your book all finished up and never cost you an idea.
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I cannot help but notice that there is no problem between us that cannot be solved by your departure.
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Bridgeport? Said I. Camelot, Said he.
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Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred million years --and I have suffered more in an hour, in this life, than I remember to have suffered in the whole hundred million years put together.
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