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The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
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Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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More quotes by Mark Twain
The human being places sexual intercourse above all other joys, but leaves it out of his heaven.
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One can enjoy a rainbow without necessarily forgetting the forces that made it.
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But soft you, the fair Ophelia: Ope not thy ponderous and marble jaws, But get thee to a nunnery - go!
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The reason why truth is so much stranger than fiction is that there is no requirement for it to be consistent.
Mark Twain
My father was a Saint Bernard, my mother was a Collie, but I am a Presbyterian.
Mark Twain
I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.
Mark Twain
A man can be a Christian or a patriot, but he can't legally be a Christian and a patriot - except in the usual way: one of the two with the mouth, the other with the heart.
Mark Twain
We are all alike, on the inside.
Mark Twain
Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare! Punch, brothers! punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
Mark Twain
We Americans are the most lavish and showiest and most luxury loving people on the earth and at our masthead we fly one true and honest symbol, the gaudiest flag the world has ever seen.
Mark Twain
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Mark Twain
It's so damned humiliating.
Mark Twain
All our acts, reasoned and unreasoned, are selfish
Mark Twain
The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.
Mark Twain
The equator was wisely put where it is, because if it had been run through Europe all the kings would have tried to grab it.
Mark Twain
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths
Mark Twain
The southerner talks music.
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I went to the circus, and loafed around the back side till the watchman went by, and then dived in under the tent. I had my twenty-dollar gold piece and some other money, but I reckoned I better save it.... I ain't opposed to spending money on circuses, when there ain't no other way, but there ain't no use in wasting it on them.
Mark Twain
There is no such thing as a new idea. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope.
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When the Lord finished the world, he pronounced it good. That is what I said about my first work, too. But Time, I tell you, Time takes the confidence out of these incautious opinions. It is more than likely that He thinks about the world, now, pretty much as I think about the Innocents Abroad. The fact is, there is a trifle too much water in both.
Mark Twain
