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Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Morality
Mankind
Half
Inspirational
Right
Always
Astound
Gratify

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Tough times teach trust.
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The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.
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More than once I had seen a noble who had gotten his enemy at a disadvantage stop to pray before cutting his throat.
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Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
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There is no use in your walking five miles to fish when you can depend on being just as unsuccessful near home.
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But it warn't no time to be sentimentering.
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Make your vacation your vocation.
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A half-educated physician is not valuable. He thinks he can cure everything.
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All large political doctrines are rich in difficult problems - problems that are quite above the average citizen's reach. And that is not strange, since they are also above the reach of the ablest minds in the country after all the fuss and all the talk, not one of those doctrines has been conclusively proven to be the right one and the best.
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Except a person be part coward, it is not a compliment to say he is brave.
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There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure.
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The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people, but if we tried to shut up the insane we should run out of building materials.
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We called him Barney for short. We couldn't use his real name, there wasn't time.
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A friend is someone who stays in when the rest of the world has gone out.
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The kingly office is entitled to no respect. It was originally procured by the highwayman's methods. It remains a perpetuated crime, can never be anything but the symbol of a crime. It is no more entitled to respect than is the flag of a pirate.
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What a world of trouble those who never marry escape! There are many happy matches, it is true, and sometimes my dear, and my love come from the heart but what sensible bachelor, rejoicing in his freedom and years of discretion, will run the tremendous risk?
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Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
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Eternal rest sounds comforting in the pulpit well, you try it once, and see how heavy time will hang on your hands.
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It was a place of sin, loose women, whiskey and gambling. It was no place for a good Presbyterian, and I did not long remain one.
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Whenever a copyright law is to be made or altered, then the idiots assemble.
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