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Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Canine
Goes
Cute
Went
Merit
Humorists
Animal
Favors
Lecturer
Religious
Entrepreneur
Puppy
Heaven
Humorous
Publishers
Collies
Funny
God
Grieving
Beagles
Christian
Dog
Pet
Poodles
Would
Stay
Favor

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If I can capture truth in its simplest form, beauty will follow like a sledgehammer.
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In my nostrils still lives the breath of flowers that perished twenty years ago.
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When whole races and peoples conspire to propagate gigantic mute lies in the interest of tyrannies and shams, why should we care anything about the trifling lies told by individuals?
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I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else... I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road.
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Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
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What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth. No smallest atom of our moral, mental, or physical structure can stand still a year. It grows - it must grow nothing can prevent it.
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The reason most people don't go to church is because they've already been.
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It is not what a man knows, but what he thinks of in time.
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A habit cannot be tossed out the window it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.
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An occultation of Venus is not half so difficult as an eclipse of the sun, but because it comes seldom the world thinks it's a grand thing.
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It has been said that a Scotchman has not seen the world until he has seen Edinburgh and I think that I may say that an American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
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None of us can have as many virtues as the fountain-pen, or half its cussedness but we can try.
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Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
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You can't make a life over. Society wouldn't let you if you would.
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Not a single right is indestructible: a new might can at any time abolish it, hence, man possesses not a single permanent right. God is Might (and He is shifty, malicious, and uncertain).
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What do you think of the human mind? I mean, in case you think there is a human mind.
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True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god.
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It was on the 10th day of May - 1884 - that I confessed to age by mounting spectacles for the first time, and in the same hour I renewed my youth, to outward appearance, by mounting a bicycle for the first time. The spectacles stayed on.
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