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Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
People
Optimistic
Worthy
Inspirational
Tell
Truth
Work
Never
Life

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The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad.
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In my experience, previously counted chickens never do hatch.
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Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience - 4000 critics.
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I never felt so fervently thankful, so soothed, so tranquil, so filled with the blessed peace, as I did yesterday when I learned that Michael Angelo was dead.
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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
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I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
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Do something everyday that you don't want to do this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
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There isn't any way to libel the human race.
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Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.
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What do you think of the human mind? I mean, in case you think there is a human mind.
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You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label.
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Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider.
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Hunger is the handmaid of genius
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Concentration of power in a political machine is bad and an Established Church is only a political machine it was invented for that it is nursed, cradled, preserved for that it is an enemy to human liberty, and does no good which it could not better do in a split-up and scattered condition.
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Progressive improvement beats delayed perfection.
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There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.
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I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
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My advice to girls: first, don't smoke - to excess second, don't drink - to excess third, don't marry - to excess.
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There is this trouble about special providences namely, there is so often a doubt as to which party was intended to be the beneficiary. In the case of the children, the bears, and the prophet, the bears got more real satisfaction out of the episode than the prophet did, because they got the children.
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If God is what people say there can be no one in the universe so unhappy as He for He sees unceasingly myriads of His creatures suffering unspeakable miseries--and besides this foresees how they are going to suffer during the remainder of their lives. One might as well say, As unhappy as God.
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