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Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Thinking
Twenty
Twenties
Late
Inspiration
Four
Hours
Something
Think
Repartee

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I am not interested to know whether vivisection produces results that are profitable to the human race or doesn't...The pain which it inflicts upon unconsenting animals is the basis of my enmity toward it, and it is to me sufficient justification of the enmity without looking further.
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Obscurity and a competence—that is the life that is best worth living.
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Ignorance, intolerance, egotism, self-assertion, opaque perception, dense and pitiful chuckle headedness - and an almost pathetic unconsciousness of it all, that is what I was at nineteen and twenty.
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It is not worth while to try to keep history from repeating itself, for man's character will always make the preventing of the repetitions impossible.
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Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
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The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.
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True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god.
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Once you've put one of his [Henry James] books down, you simply can't pick it up again.
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Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
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Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
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That is a society editor, sitting there elegantly dressed, with his legs crossed in that indolent way, observing the clothes the ladies wear, so that he can describe them for his paper and make them out finer than they are and get bribes for it and become wealthy.
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It is best to read the weather forecast before praying for rain.
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Distance lends enchantment to the view.
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A lie can make it half way around the world before the truth has time to put its boots on.
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You cannot have all chiefs you gotta have Indians too. Perfect love cannot be without equality. A friend to everybody and to nobody is the same thing. We are all alike, on the inside.
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Well, no doubt it's a blessed thing to have an imagination that can always make you satisfied, no matter how you are fixed.
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Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
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We find not much in ourselves to admire, we are always privately wanting to be like somebody else. If everybody was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes
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There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined.
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It is a solemn thought: dead, the noblest man's meat is inferior to pork.
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