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What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Thing
Originality
Good
Adam
Beer
Drink
Nobody
Knew
Wisdom
Book
Plagiarism

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These people´s God has shown them by a million acts that he respects none of the Bible´s statues. He breaks every one of them himself, adultery and all.
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When you ascend the hill of prosperity, may you not meet a friend.
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I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache and what is more, I never intend to have it.
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I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.
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A powerful agent is the right word: it lights the reader's way and makes it plain.
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To be, or not to be that is the bare bodkin That makes calamity of so long life.
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Nature knows no indecencies man invents them.
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I have thought many times since that if poets when they get discouraged would blow their brains out, they could write very much better when they got well.
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The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture he will never get a set which can really be depended on 'till a dentist makes him one.
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If smoking cigars is not permitted in heaven, I won''t go.
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The election makes me think of a story of a man who was dying. He had only two minutes to live, so he sent for a clergyman and asked him, Where is the best place to go to? He was undecided about it. So the minister told him that each place had its advantages--heaven for climate, and hell for society.
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If you have nothing to say, say nothing.
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Imagination labors best in distant fields.
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It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. Overnight success is a fallacy. It is preceded by a great deal of preparation. Ask any successful person how they came to this point in their lives, and they will have a story to tell.
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If you invent two or three people and turn them loose in your manuscript, something is bound to happen to them -- you can't help it and then it will take you the rest of the book to get them out of the natural consequences of that occurrence, and so first thing you know, there's your book all finished up and never cost you an idea.
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He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
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