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What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Nobody
Knew
Wisdom
Book
Plagiarism
Thing
Originality
Good
Adam
Beer
Drink

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Some things you can't find out but you will never know you can't by guessing and supposing: no, you have to be patient and go on experimenting until you find out that you can't find out.
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Is the human race a joke? Was it devised and patched together in a dull time when there was nothing important to do?
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I've seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true.
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I am the entire human race compacted together. I have found that there is no ingredient of the race which I do not possess in either a small way or a large way.
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It is a good idea to obey all the rules when you're young just so you'll have the strength to break them when you're old.
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The proverb says that Providence protects children and idiots. This is really true. I know because I have tested it.
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Some of us cannot be optimists, but all of us can be bigamists
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When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.
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One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques.
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It's easy to make friends, but hard to get rid of them.
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I do not want Michael Angelo for breakfast-but for luncheon-for dinner- for tea-for supper-for between meals.
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How little a thing can make us happy when we feel that we have earned it.
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Blasphemy? No, it is not blashphemy. If God is as vast as that, he is above blasphemy if he is as little as that, He is beneath it.
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Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
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Among other common lies, we have the silent lie - the deception which one conveys by simply keeping still and concealing the truth. Many obstinate truth-mongers indulge in this dissipation, imagining that if they speak no lie, they lie not at all.
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You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances. It is the tourist's custom.
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Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out.
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Frankenstein took some flesh and bones and blood and made a man out of them the man ran away and fell to raping and robbing and murdering everywhere, and Frankenstein was horrified and in despair, and said, I made him, without asking his consent, and it makes me responsible for every crime he commits. I am the criminal, he is innocent.
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It is a shameful thing to insult a child.
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When your opinions start to coincide with those of the majority, it is time to reconsider your opinions.
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