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George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Age
Accomplishments
Lying
Accomplishment
Political
George
Even
Washington
Ignorant
Youth
Boys
Politics
Commonest
More quotes by Mark Twain
There's something in it when a body like the widow or the parson prays, but it don't work for me, and I reckon it don't work for only just the right kind.
Mark Twain
Genius has no youth, but starts with the ripeness of age and old experience.
Mark Twain
Duties are not performed for duty's sake, but because their neglect would make the man uncomfortable. A man performs but one duty - the duty of contenting his spirit, the duty of making himself agreeable to himself.
Mark Twain
A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditch digging.
Mark Twain
All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.
Mark Twain
It has always been a peculiarity of the human race that it keeps two sets of morals in stock-the private and the real, and the public and the artificial.
Mark Twain
Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke.
Mark Twain
In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
Mark Twain
I was born with Halley's Comet and I expect to die upon its return
Mark Twain
It has been said that a Scotchman has not seen the world until he has seen Edinburgh and I think that I may say that an American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
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No man that has ever lived has done a thing to please God--primarily. It was done to please himself, then God next.
Mark Twain
No one can tell me what is a good cigar - for me. I am the only judge. People who claim to know say that I smoke the worst cigars in the world. They bring their own cigars when they come to my house.
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We adore titles and heredities in our hearts and ridicule them with our mouths. This is our democratic privilege.
Mark Twain
There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
Mark Twain
A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes all other forms of law.
Mark Twain
Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs one step at a time.
Mark Twain
A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.
Mark Twain
The human race is a race of cowards and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
Mark Twain
The world has corrected the Bible. The church never corrects it and also never fails to drop in at the tail of the procession-and take the credit of the correction.
Mark Twain
These people´s God has shown them by a million acts that he respects none of the Bible´s statues. He breaks every one of them himself, adultery and all.
Mark Twain
