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Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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Biographies
More quotes by Mark Twain
What a curious kind of fool a girl is. Never been licked in school. What's a licking?
Mark Twain
A half-educated physician is not valuable. He thinks he can cure everything.
Mark Twain
Oh Death where is thy sting! It has none. But life has.
Mark Twain
Man is the only animal that is cruel. It kills just for the sake of it.
Mark Twain
The less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.
Mark Twain
You can't break a bad habit by throwing it out the window. You've got to walk it slowly down the stairs.
Mark Twain
I have damaged my intellect trying to imagine why a man should want to invent a repeating clock, and how another man could be found to lust after it and buy it. The man who can guess these riddles is far on the way to guess why the human race was invented - which is another riddle which tires me.
Mark Twain
That is a society editor, sitting there elegantly dressed, with his legs crossed in that indolent way, observing the clothes the ladies wear, so that he can describe them for his paper and make them out finer than they are and get bribes for it and become wealthy.
Mark Twain
The heart is the real fountain of youth.
Mark Twain
A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
Mark Twain
I am not interested to know whether vivisection produces results that are profitable to the human race or doesn't...The pain which it inflicts upon unconsenting animals is the basis of my enmity toward it, and it is to me sufficient justification of the enmity without looking further.
Mark Twain
[On Dutch flat poetry]: It is too smooth and blubbery it reads like butter-milk gurgling from a jug.
Mark Twain
The report of my death was an exaggeration.
Mark Twain
I pity the fellow who has to create a dialect or paraphrase the dictionary to get laughs. I can't spell, but I have never stooped to spell cat with a 'k' to get at your funny bone. I love a drink, but I never encouraged drunkenness by harping on its alleged funny side.
Mark Twain
There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones it can lift men to angelship.
Mark Twain
Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
Mark Twain
My books are like water those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
Mark Twain
Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
The kingly office is entitled to no respect. It was originally procured by the highwayman's methods. It remains a perpetuated crime, can never be anything but the symbol of a crime. It is no more entitled to respect than is the flag of a pirate.
Mark Twain
The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
Mark Twain