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Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
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Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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More quotes by Mark Twain
Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider.
Mark Twain
I am dead to adverbs they cannot excite me. To misplace an adverb is a thing which I am able to do with frozen indifference it can never give me a pang. There are subtleties which I cannot master at all - they confuse me, they mean absolutely nothing to me - and this adverb plague is one of them.
Mark Twain
The government is merely a servant―merely a temporary servant it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.
Mark Twain
The face of the water, in time, became a wonderful book- a book that was a dead language to the uneducated passenger, but which told its mind to me without reserve, delivering its most cherished secrets as clearly as if it uttered them with a voice. And it was not a book to be read once and thrown aside, for it had a new story to tell every day.
Mark Twain
The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow.
Mark Twain
Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least.
Mark Twain
If you have nothing to say, say nothing.
Mark Twain
My own luck has been curious all my literary life I never could tell a lie that anyone would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.
Mark Twain
When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name, it means trouble.
Mark Twain
A half-educated physician is not valuable. He thinks he can cure everything.
Mark Twain
Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.
Mark Twain
Change is the handmaiden Nature requires to do her miracles with.
Mark Twain
Travel has no longer any charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to except heaven & hell & I have only a vague curiosity about one of those.
Mark Twain
All good things arrive unto them that wait - and don't die in the meantime.
Mark Twain
The human race consists of the damned and the ought-to-be damned.
Mark Twain
Our lives, our liberty, and our property are never in greater danger than when Congress is in session.
Mark Twain
Every time I read a Jane Austen novel, I feel like a bartender at the gates of heaven.
Mark Twain
I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.
Mark Twain
The laws of Nature take precedence of all human laws. The purpose of all human laws is one - to defeat the laws of Nature. This is the case among all the nations, both civilized and savage. It is a grotesquerie, but when the human race is not grotesque it is because it is asleep and losing its opportunity.
Mark Twain
There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
Mark Twain
