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It is easier to stay out than get out.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Tempted
Smoking
Temptation
Alcohol
Achievement
Stay
Easier
Inspiration

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Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expensive and nefarious kind of government ever heard of on earth
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Dates are hard to remember because they consist of figures figures are monotonously unstriking in appearance, and they don't take hold, they form no pictures, and so they give the eye no chance to help. Pictures are the thing. Pictures can make dates stick.
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To gnaw on is human, towards digest, divine.
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Civilization largely consists in hiding human nature. When the barbarian learns to hide it we account him enlightened.
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The convention missionaries call modesty has no standard, and cannot have one, because it is opposed to nature and reason and is therefore an artificiality and subject to anybody's whim - anybody's diseased caprice.
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While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.
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The choir always tittered and whispered all through the service. There was once a church choir that was not ill-bred, but I have forgotten where it was.
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God cures and the doctor sends the bill.
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It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want—oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!
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Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.
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Don't just sit there and worry. Be proactive. Do something - anything - about what's worrying you so you can gain information, focus and control over the situation. I've suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.
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Ignorance, intolerance, egotism, self-assertion, opaque perception, dense and pitiful chuckle headedness - and an almost pathetic unconsciousness of it all, that is what I was at nineteen and twenty.
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You can't make a life over. Society wouldn't let you if you would.
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What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
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You may say organize, organize, organize but there may be so much organization that it will interfere with the work to be done.
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The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.
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The catfish is Plenty good enough fish for anyone
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If you have to swallow a frog, don't stare at it too long.
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One mustn't criticize other people on grounds where he can't stand perpendicular himself
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The best of us would rather be popular than right.
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