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I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Taken
Never
Resting
Insomnia
Sleeping
Except
Exercise
Sleep
More quotes by Mark Twain
His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere.
Mark Twain
We have not the reverent feeling for the rainbow that the savage has, because we know how it is made. We have lost as much as we gained by prying into that matter.
Mark Twain
There's something in it when a body like the widow or the parson prays, but it don't work for me, and I reckon it don't work for only just the right kind.
Mark Twain
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
Mark Twain
Well, Ben Rogers, if I was as ignorant as you I wouldn't let on.
Mark Twain
Apparently one of the most uncertain things in the world is the funeral of a religion.
Mark Twain
The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad.
Mark Twain
The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.
Mark Twain
Politicians, old buildings, and prostitutes become respectable with age.
Mark Twain
Love is madness, if thwarted it develops fast.
Mark Twain
I was warned to stop smoking, which I did, for two or three days, but it was too lonesome, and I have resumed - in a modified way - 4 smokes a day instead of 40. This will have a good effect. On the bank balance.
Mark Twain
Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.
Mark Twain
A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt
Mark Twain
It's my opinion that every one I know has morals, though I wouldn't like to ask. I know I have. But I'd rather teach them than practice them any day. Give them to others-that's my motto.
Mark Twain
Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare! Punch, brothers! punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
Mark Twain
The insincerity of man-all men are liars, partial or hiders of facts, half tellers of truths, shirks, moral sneaks. When a merely honest man appears he is a comet-his fame is eternal-needs no genius, no talent-mere honesty
Mark Twain
One mustn't criticize other people on grounds where he can't stand perpendicular himself
Mark Twain
Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
Mark Twain
No one can tell me what is a good cigar--for me. I am the only judge... There are no standards--no real standards. Each man's preference is the only standard for him, the only one which he can accept, the only one which can command him.
Mark Twain
We all belong to the nasty stinking little human race, & of course it is not nice for God's beloved vermin to scoff at each other... Oh, we are a nasty little lot-& to think there are people who would like to save us & continue us. It won't happen if I have any influence.
Mark Twain